Dreamtime

 

 

I remember one dream I had as I child very vividly. I rarely remember dreams, as a child or even now as an adult, but this dream still lingers in my mind as fresh as the night it happened. Spider legs. I can see spider legs towering over me. I'm not sure if I'm the size of a tiny speck or if the spider is huge. I guess that's really irrelevant. All I can see are the legs. My eyes never look to the body and it is unfocused in my peripheral. I remember a large, dark splotch as the body, nothing more. But those legs. They are spiny with hairs peeling off like thorny daggers. A wet, mucus like substance coats them from the tips to the prosoma. I stand, looking up, eyes darting between the eight massive things surrounding me.

I've read that dreams of large, oversized objects means that you feel overwhelmed or stressed. I don't recall having any feeling like that at the time. So I am assuming that's bullshit. What I did feel was happiness. I felt like I was part of something. Like there is more out there then what revolves around me and my daily life. I felt like I was the smallest part in all of it and that made me joyful.

When I woke up I was upset. I tried to will myself back to sleep and back into that dream. I think I did fall back to sleep, but I never found my way back to that dream. It was gone. Lost forever. But the memory stuck with me. It's been over twenty years since that dream but I can still see the spider legs as clearly now as I did in the then. And I still remember that feeling I had while staring up at the huge, spiny legs. I want to find it again. I want to revisit that place and see what else is there. What other feelings arrive when I stay longer. When I stay forever.